Projection is the process by which we displace our own feelings, beliefs, values or unmet needs on to others. We do this most often and most intensely with romantic partners. Our mind tricks us into seeing our romantic interest as someone different than who they are. We see them as a “savior”- someone who can alleviate us from our own emotional distress.

Whether that be romantic love, friendships, parents, siblings, co-workers. We only grow internally through experiences with others. I believe that it is important to reflect on and understand the meaning of the different relationships we have in our lives and to take a curious stance on understanding what they are meant to teach us in this lifetime.

Friendship. Some of the most significant relationships in life are our friendships, friends are soul mates who come into our lives to be mirrors that wake us up and help us grow into our full potential.  Friends are the family that we get to choose and they become part of our tribe. Humans are wired to have connection and our friendships are vital to our mental and emotional health. 

If we are told that we are being "selfish" there is an automatic feeling that what we are doing something shameful.  Our society sends us contradictory messages- we live in a individualistic culture that sets us up to fend for ourselves. While also judging us harshly, when we make decisions that benefit us or put our needs first.

Commitment phobia stems from unresolved childhood trauma and is an unconscious re-enactment of their internal conflict. Part of the psyche yearns for closeness, companionship, and love, while the other part is terrified of the responsibilities that come with a relationship. Being in a relationship with a commitment phobic is extremely emotionally draining and creates a confusing "push and pull" for anyone involved with them.