The Impact Of Soul Mate Relationships Towards Our Personal Growth.
Table of Contents
Introduction: The Role of Spirituality in Therapeutic Work
Understanding Soulmates: The Impact of Soulmates on Personal Growth
Types of Soulmate Relationships
Karmic Soulmates: Lessons from Painful Bonds
Soul Mates: Guides and Teachers in Our Lives
Twin Flames: The Ultimate Mirror and Spiritual Catalyst
The Journey Towards Spiritual Growth: Learning and Healing Through Soulmates
The Integration of Spirituality in Healing: The Balance Between Science and Spirituality in Therapy
Conclusion: Embracing the Lessons of Relationships
Soul Mate Healing in Our Relationships
Soul mates.
What does that mean?
I am nervous to write this post because there are mixed feelings in our industry about incorporating spirituality into therapeutic work. But in my experience/perspective- I think that the only way we move on from our issues, traumas, and relationships is if we make meaning of them and re-experience the situation on an emotional, psychological, and most importantly spiritual level.
I always say and will stand behind the quote: “Everyone who comes into our lives is there for a reason, season, or lifetime.” Our deepest moments of pain usually are where we find the most growth and often they come from our relationships.
Whether that be romantic love, friendships, parents, siblings, co-workers. We only grow internally through experiences with others. I believe that it is important to reflect on and understand the meaning of the different relationships we have in our lives and to take a curious stance on understanding what they are meant to teach us in this lifetime.
Soulmate relationships are the most powerful catalyst for change in our lives. But, before I go into further detail, I want to start by explaining what “soul mates” are and the difference between the types of soul mates we meet along our journey of life. I discovered this throughout my healing journey and it has helped me tremendously in coping with and letting go of resentment, pain, fear, and most importantly of people who no longer served me towards my highest good.
There are three types of soul mate relationships that we encounter in our lifetimes. Each one is important and meant to move us toward our highest selves, but these relationships are not always easy and the lessons aren’t always clear.
3-Types of Soulmates that Come into our Lives
Karmic Soulmates
Karmic soulmates are people who we have an intense but painful bond with. These people come into our lives and “rattle us up.” When we meet them it feels like there is an instant familiarity and intensity with that person. You feel an intense (sometimes uneasy) draw to them and you don’t know why, but it feels like you were “supposed” to meet them at that moment. They can also be important life-long relationships with family members and friends that are grounded in conflict or competition. Karmic soulmate relationships are extremely powerful but are often painful. These are the relationships that cause a lot of emotional trauma and emotional unrest in our lives/bring up our “shadow” or “dark sides.”
Yet, these are some of the most important relationships that we must experience, in our human journey. We need these relationships to happen so that we can understand them and truly internalize the lessons they bring us toward our spiritual growth.
Karmic soul mates are placed in our lives to teach us some of life’s most fundamental lessons: (compassion, empathy, patience, unconditional love, acceptance, boundaries, trust, belonging, strength, resilience, and connection). It is truly only through these incredibly powerful, yet painful karmic relationships that we learn and allow ourselves to accept these lessons. Your soul has to meet these people and the relationships need to unfold painfully- for your growth.
I understand this is an unconventional perspective- but I think it helps many people take more of a curious stance towards situations/people in their lives that have caused pain and trauma. I always say to my clients: “What did you learn from this person or going through this painful experience that has made you a better person or a more evolved version of yourself?”
Karmic soul mates are passionate, painful, impactful, and life-altering and are often the catalyst towards spiritual awakening. Most of these relationships manifest to clear past-life trauma or issues that you have had with this soul energy. (Example: You might date someone who you have power struggles and competition with. Both of you are always trying to “one-up” each other. In a past life, you might have been competitors and you had to date them in this life to clear that Karma and learn to unconditionally love the person that has hurt you or that you have competed with in other lives).
Remember that the lessons are always positive- but if you don’t stay curious then you might not understand or internalize them. Also, many times these relationships have an expiration date and you need to release them when the time comes. Your intuition will know when this time comes but it will be scary and one of the most difficult experiences that you will go through. There is so much beauty and healing on the other side of the pain of letting go.
*** Examples of karmic soulmates: A back-and-forth romantic relationship where you fight/break up/get back together and trigger the worst/best of each other. Competitiveness with one of your siblings. An abusive parent whose affection and love you have always longed for and chased. A marriage where both partners compete to have “control” at different times of the relationship. Someone who cheats on you or exploits you. A friendship that is riddled with jealousy and power struggles.
Soul Mates
Soulmate relationships are not always romantic or crazy passionate. I would say that karmic soulmates have much more “intensity” than soul mate relationships. Soul mate relationships are easy and they don’t require much effort. A soul mate can be a mentor or a teacher who always believes in you and sees your potential/guides you on a certain path. Soul mates can even be strangers that we have brief interactions with, but impact us or change our direction or perspective in some way. Soul mates are our “guides” or teachers. They tend to show up when we need direction or to remind us of a part of ourselves that we have lost. We can fall in love with a soul mate and have a very easy relationship with them. There are unexplainable feelings of knowing, safety, and trust in that person. (Example: You might have forgotten how to have joy/fun in your life. Suddenly you meet someone who brings that part out in you because they are carefree and you feel safe again being spontaneous and childlike).
Soul mates give us hope, direction, and permission and remind us of the lighter parts of life. They also see our potential unconditionally and never judge us. Think of them as little guardian angels that remind us of our inherent worth and humanity. (P.S. They don’t have to be human and can be pets or animals).
*** Examples of soulmates: A stranger that you meet one day and shares something perspective-shifting with you in a random conversation. A teacher who always noticed you and supported you through your struggles at school or family issues. Friends who you don’t need to talk to every day but you know will be there when shit gets hard. Someone you date who reminds you that it's okay to be free, and silly, or helps you feel safe to be vulnerable. A pet that came into your life unexpectedly that you felt an instant connection with and that helps you cope with difficult times in your life.
3. Twin Flames
Twin flames are one of the most powerful soul mate relationships that we experience. The twin flame relationship is complicated and stirs up our deepest shit. A twin flame is a mirror of yourself in another person. In spiritual theory, there is a belief that we all embody masculine and feminine energy and that your twin will balance that energy out.
A twin flame relationship is so powerful because it is essentially YOU in another person, you are meeting yourself. The twin flame relationship does not manifest in all of our lifetimes and we only can reunite with our twin flame if we are at our highest spiritual evolvement. The twin flame relationship is complex because it often defies social norms and triggers us like nothing else. There often is also a time of separation when one of the twins “runs” from the other because the intensity of the feelings is too much to handle.
There is no other relationship more powerful than the twin flame. We are all longing to reunite with our twin flame because no one in the world understands us better. Yet, because they are a mirror of ourselves we can only truly love them or accept their love after we have done all of our internal work/clearing. This means that during the “separation and/or running phase” we must go through other soul mate and karmic relationships, where we learn all the lessons that we need to before we can reunite.
Twin flames are challenging because they teach us the most important lesson about life- we must learn to unconditionally love and accept ourselves first. You won’t be able to tolerate being with your twin flame until you truly love yourself… because they are you. Twin flames can go years, even decades without being together but they are somehow always connected. They tend to have very similar life paths and lessons to learn and often will be going through similar karmic lessons at the same time.
The purpose of the twin flame relationship is not just passion and love, it is a relationship that raises the consciousness of the world. When twin flames come back together- their relationship is not about sex or superficial dynamics, they come together to do something for the greater good of humanity. Once reunited there is no longer ego and both souls are there to create something bigger than them that will help uplift others. Our twin allows us to connect to our purpose in this world. As much as our twin triggers us and we run from them, deep down we are always connected to them and the love is unconditional.
Twins might not end up together in this lifetime because of free will and lessons that need to be learned still- but they will always reunite in the last incarnation. We all have another part of our soul floating in this universe searching for the other half.
*** Examples of Twin Flames: An unconditional knowing, comfort, and familiarity with someone that can not be explained even within a few minutes of meeting them. Someone who can just read your mind or knows what you are feeling/thinking. An increase in your psychic intuition and feeling like that person is a mirror of yours. Feeling the other twins’ important moments/feelings even form a distance.
Soulmate Connections and Integration of Spirituality
Of course, with the science and research that we have it is always important to lead with things we can measure and quantify. But there is so much that we just can not explain. The power of the human soul, love, intuition, and the unexplainable serendipities that often occur when we are in a cycle of growth. There should be room for both- especially in the process of unpacking the human psyche.
I believe that we meet everyone for a reason and that life is just a big classroom, where relationships are our most important lessons/tests. I hope this post resonated with you and that you take the parts that did and use them to take a more curious stance towards people and situations that have manifested in your life.
When we stop judging and start exploring with compassion- the pieces start to line up. Remember, that you can not move on from something/someone until you know and internalize the lesson they were supposed to teach you.
I think it is very important to be open to incorporating spirituality into therapeutic work. Looking at relationships from this lens can help bring closure and meaning to unresolved issues and opened wounds.
In the end, the lessons are pretty simple- it’s all about love.
Read more soulmates: HERE
With love,
Sandra