The Five Love Languages: How They Show Up In Relationships

If you haven’t heard of the five love languages you may not realize how much it is affecting your personal relationships. Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of Five Love Languages, designed this book to help others more effectively communicate love. As humans, we long to love and be loved. With that in mind, everyone expresses and receives love differently. The five love languages are the different types of ways we all receive and express love.

Physical Touch - Do you often find yourself reaching for your partner’s hand? Or maybe you notice you automatically feel better after a hug from a loved one? Physical touch is a way to show your love without any words.

Quality Time - Do you prefer to do meaningful engaging activities with your loved ones? If so, quality time may be your preferred love language. Examples of quality time would include vacations just the two of you, trying new things together, and spending uninterrupted time together.

Words of Affirmation - Examples of words of affirmation would include compliments from your partner and constant reassurance of love through words. How does it make you feel when your partner tells you they love and miss you? If you feel especially happy, words of affirmation may be your love language.

Acts of Service - Acts of service can look very different for everyone. Does your partner often do things to help you out throughout the day? Examples of acts of service include cooking dinner for one another, taking your car to get washed, and ultimately going out of the way to do something to help your partner.

Gift Giving - Do you often feel extra special when your partner gifts you something? Gift giving is a form of affection especially when your partner may remember something particular you like or brings you back a gift after being out of town.

If you’re unsure of your love language, definitely take the quiz on 5lovelanguages.com. It can help you understand how you receive love. When taking the quiz, keep in mind you may also have more than one love language! The results of the quiz are great because it ranks how each love language is important to you.

Another important factor to think about is how you, yourself, express’s love. Are you showering your partner with gifts when their love language is quality time? There may be a miscommunication within your relationship regarding how you express your love and how your partner receives love which can sometimes cause conflict. After you take the quiz and learn more about yourself, have your partner take the quiz for a fun activity together that helps you learn more about one another.

*** Written for Meridian Counseling by Caroline Lay, AMFT.

CAROLINE LAY, ASSOCIATE MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST (129507)