Funeral Planning 101: What to Consider to Lessen the Burden on Your Family

One of the last, best gifts you can give your family is planning most of your own funeral services. Many people fail to understand that a lot goes into planning a memorial service, funeral, and burial. Couple that with arranging other elements like transportation, flowers, a wake, or a post-reception and you’re talking about a serious burden on your loved ones. Not only that, but the financial burden can be substantial as well. The average post-death expenses, all told, come in at around $11,000.

First Things First: Get Your Documents in Order

Before you even begin to plan for your funeral you should get all of your necessary documents in order. You will want your family to be able to make decisions for you during your end-of-life care, as well as have the legal authority to coordinate your services when you pass. This includes establishing power of attorney, writing your living will, appointing a Social Security representative, and/or establishing a VA fiduciary if you are a veteran. You should include your family in this process. This means you will need to sit down and have a conversation about your final wishes. Be explicit; don’t leave anything up to interpretation.

Burial vs. Cremation

The first big decision you will need to make regarding your funeral arrangements centers on what you want to happen to your body when you pass: burial or cremation. There’s a lot to consider here, including your religious beliefs and restrictions, costs, what type of memorial service you plan to have, and where you want your final resting place to be. While cremation is typically a less-expensive route, it certainly isn’t cheap.

What Type of Service Do You Want?

If you pass without making your wishes known, this stage of the funeral process can really cause stress amongst your family. You must begin to make the arrangements for your own memorial service and funeral while you still can. The options are more plentiful than you may think. For example, you can have a traditional funeral service at a funeral home, a church, or your own home. You can then add a graveside service before the burial. You can have no burial service at all. You can choose to have the entire thing at your favorite park -- if you want to get the permits. You can choose to have a religious or non-religious service. It’s complicated. Filling out a checklist can help you sort it out with your family.

How to Pay for It

It’s possible that you have enough money in savings and assets to cover your own funeral costs. If you don’t, those costs can pile up fast. Burial insurance or funeral insurance (they are actually two different things) can be a smart addition to your whole life insurance policy.

“If the cost of premiums is a concern, you may want to look at coverage that is designed for low cost, while still providing a death benefit that may be sufficient,” notes Nationwide. It can also pay for “stressful obligations like hospital and doctor bills, as well as estate settlement costs.”

You should also consider making a pre-paid arrangement with a funeral home. If you do this in advance, many funeral homes will give you a discounted price. There are also other forms of trusts you can look into to help your family once you are gone.

How Do You Want to Be Honored?

Lastly, your family may be feeling too overwhelmed by the thought of your passing and the arrangements to figure out how to honor your legacy. To help ease the bereavement, let them know what you specifically want, or make suggestions that they can choose from. During the funeral service, your loved ones can play your favorite music. You can ask them to hold a celebration of life event, during which lanterns or butterflies are released in your honor. A permanent option could be memorializing your legacy in the form of a garden in a loved one's backyard. Think about what you hope it would include, like a tree sapling with your ashes sprinkled into the soil, or a garden bench with your name on it. Your loved ones can hire a landscaper—who typically charges $3,619 - $11,025 in Los Angeles—to help create your garden.

It’s hard to think about death and leaving your family behind. However, we all know it’s an inevitability. The post-death period is sad and stressful enough without having to worry about planning and paying for an entire funeral. Your family can mourn in peace if you do the legwork now and ensure everything is set and ready to go when the time comes.

*** Written for Meridian Counseling by Sara Bailey. After losing her husband Greg, Sara Bailey created TheWidow.net in the hopes of sharing her journey as a single parent amidst grief and provide insight and hope to those who experience loss